I don't take a good look at myself often because when I really look at my life and I really think about the big picture I realize that there is a lot that is wrong.
House, finances, job, love life? All disasters.
It would be impossible to trace every decision that led me to this point. It would be equally impossible to untangle every mistake and bad habit I've developed over the past 35 years and start over from scratch. And really? Even if someone came in and erased my weight, cleaned my house and paid all of my bills for a month I would still end up back here in this bed crying about how much I hate what my life looks like.
I didn't get to be like this overnight and I'm not going to fix it that way either.
Instead I'm going to take very slow, careful steps to address some of the things I don't like. I'm not looking for miracles, just a little hope at the end of the day.