Lets start with the backward steps first so we can end on a good note, yes?
After the first ten days of meal planning (and follow through) I slipped right back in to my fast food coma. Which means I also slipped right back in to my "too-tired-just-throw-cash-at-it" ways. BLT's from Sonic and tuna sandwiches from Subway and chicken sandwiches from Wendy's. I even had red beans and rice from Popeye's today. So I'm eating like crap, spending money like I have it and not following through on my carefully-planned intentions. And the red wine consumption rates have increased in my house.
I have also spent a few nights awake and a few mornings sleeping in and then canceling my carefully constructed morning and reshuffling my week. I think I really do need a job that is less flexible; I need the structure and accountability. If I can't time-shift at will maybe I would force myself out of bed and deal with my day. I have also not been cleaning. I have been mostly inactive outside of my working hours.
It is a big cycle of ugh, and I need to find some kind of motivation to pull myself out of it.
The good news is that I have been doing well at work... more or less making my hours. Which is to say, the first two weeks I did more than I projected and this week was less so my monthly total should be right on target. We are halfway through the month and I have already billed more hours than I ended February with. So that's good.
There may also be a job opening that interests me. A job that would increase my income by about 60%. I'm not holding my breath, but I am hopeful. I need this to happen, but since I have been able to be successful at work I feel (for the first time) like I will be ok if it doesn't.
I also have a second date scheduled. I feel like I am moving ahead with this because I'm supposed to. Like this guy is spinach and broccoli and the last guy was cheese fries and bacon cheeseburgers. Sure, I like spinach and broccoli, but I wake up in the night craving cheese fries and bacon cheeseburgers. I love cheese fries and bacon cheeseburgers. I will always want cheese fries and bacon cheeseburgers.
But I know, too much of that shit will kill you.
So I'm going to try the spinach and broccoli on a more regular basis and pretend that it's not totally unfair of me to eat it when all I want is bacon and cheese.