Friday, March 18, 2011

Unfair to Spinach and Broccoli

Lets start with the backward steps first so we can end on a good note, yes?

After the first ten days of meal planning (and follow through) I slipped right back in to my fast food coma.  Which means I also slipped right back in to my "too-tired-just-throw-cash-at-it" ways.  BLT's from Sonic and tuna sandwiches from Subway and chicken sandwiches from Wendy's.  I even had red beans and rice from Popeye's today.  So I'm eating like crap, spending money like I have it and not following through on my carefully-planned intentions.  And the red wine consumption rates have increased in my house.


I have also spent a few nights awake and a few mornings sleeping in and then canceling my carefully constructed morning and reshuffling my week.  I think I really do need a job that is less flexible; I need the structure and accountability.  If I can't time-shift at will maybe I would force myself out of bed and deal with my day.  I have also not been cleaning.  I have been mostly inactive outside of my working hours.

It is a big cycle of ugh, and I need to find some kind of motivation to pull myself out of it.

The good news is that I have been doing well at work... more or less making my hours.  Which is to say, the first two weeks I did more than I projected and this week was less so my monthly total should be right on target.  We are halfway through the month and I have already billed more hours than I ended February with.  So that's good.

There may also be a job opening that interests me.  A job that would increase my income by about 60%.  I'm not holding my breath, but I am hopeful.  I need this to happen, but since I have been able to be successful at work I feel (for the first time) like I will be ok if it doesn't.

I also have a second date scheduled.  I feel like I am moving ahead with this because I'm supposed to.  Like this guy is spinach and broccoli and the last guy was cheese fries and bacon cheeseburgers.  Sure, I like spinach and broccoli, but I wake up in the night craving cheese fries and bacon cheeseburgers.  I love cheese fries and bacon cheeseburgers.  I will always want cheese fries and bacon cheeseburgers.

But I know, too much of that shit will kill you.

So I'm going to try the spinach and broccoli on a more regular basis and pretend that it's not totally unfair of me to eat it when all I want is bacon and cheese. 

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